It all seems like a dream. It should, since it was in 1975, so long ago that only the basics of memories hold up. Where you were, where you lived, worked, and who were the people in your life.

  I was a bustling 26 year old, almost 2 years into my first  professional, corporate type job. I was the staff ‘renderer’ for RADCO, the development arm of Ramada Inns, which had its headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. Our job was to create room and public space designs for Ramadas across the country. My job was to illustrate those designs for presentation to owners and franchise holders.

  I had come down from Boulder, Colorado in search of a job. Relatively fresh from 2 years of architecture studies at the University of Arizona, I had impressed my interviewers with my drawing skills. They had asked me to render a fictional lobby with customers interacting with the staff. My perspective and proportions were good enough, and I got the job (much to my surprise). I got along well with the staff and had my own little ‘office’ on the 3rd floor. A couple of the other staffers and I would take lunch together. We would drive over to a local pub, where we would grab a sandwich while we drank beer and played pool.

  I was having fun. Back then, I was a fairly smart looking young man, and with my good job, I fancied myself a guy who could show a lady a good time. And I did. I had numerous girlfriends, with whom I wined and dined and danced and camped and usually ended up in bed with.

  I was becoming familiar with the Ramada corporate life. I could stay at any Ramada around the country for five dollars a night. I also was traveling for the company, and so had itineraries with prepaid airline tickets and hotel and rent a car expenses covered, as well as a hefty per diem for meals and extras. I had a nice apartment and heck, I even had a Porsche to tool around the Phoenix/Scottsdale scene with.

  One day, our department had a personnel change, and I got a new boss. He had been working in another division and transferred over. Other staffers and I were familiar with him and liked him, so we were happy to welcome him in. One day he called me in and told me he wanted me to accompany him on a trip to pitch some designs to a fatcat client across the country.

  It sounded good to me. We had numerous stops along the way; Dallas, Kansas City, and then somewhere in Michigan. Kalamazoo, I think. We had to stay overnight there, and so headed to a Ramada, naturally. We were supposed to have separate rooms, but at the front desk I learned that my room had a problem, they were full, so would I mind sharing a room. I said sure. That would be a decision that I would think about a lot upon reflection. I think he ‘persuaded’ the employee to make up that story.

  We went to dinner and then retired to our room. I don’t recall much then except we got into our separate queen beds and turned off the light. Some time during the night, I woke up when I felt him get into bed with me. I froze. He started touching me and acting amorous. The rest is still a blur. I don’t know why I didn’t just jump up and object, but he was my boss—I know it sounds crazy, but I was afraid. Soon he moved down and started sucking me and flipped so his penis was in my face. It was in my mouth before I knew it. He came shortly thereafter. He giggled and said a few things and then returned to his bed. I guess I was in shock. I don’t remember much except eventually morning broke.

  We dressed and went about the rest of our trip activities and then made plans to return to Phoenix. At this point, I made a request. I said that I had a girlfriend in Columbus and could I divert there before returning. He said yes. I DID have one of my girlfriends living there, and she was happy to hear from me and drove to the airport to get me.

  Well, I’ll just say that we spent a furious, sexually charged couple of days copulating all over her apartment. I was still processing what had happened, and wanted to assure myself that I was a normal heterosexual male! My guess is that both she and I will never forget those days. I was too traumatized to mention it to her however, and was just as happy to forget it.

  When I got back to the job, things were almost normal. My boss was there, about the same, except overly friendly. I was still puzzled, because he was married, and didn’t give off any gay signals that my twenty something mind could process. Back then, being gay was not out like it is today, especially in the workplace. A few days later, he called me into his office and gave me a present. It was a shirt. I smiled, but privately I was creeped out. A short time later, he requested that we take another ‘business’ trip together. I said yes ( I wanted to keep my job ) and so we booked it. Let me just say that during that trip I let it be known that I was NOT comfortable doing anything but business on the trip. To my relief, he said he understood, and took it well.

  As I said earlier, I just buried it for the most part, and didn’t speak about it to anyone. I resumed my playboy ways and continued to resist his advances. I took a second job as a waiter a few nights a week, and saved a bunch of money. I had vacationed up in Colorado one summer, and befriended a girl up in Snowmass, just outside of Aspen. I expressed a desire to chuck my job and become a ski bum there. She said she would let me stay with her while I found a job as a waiter. My mind was made up. I quit Ramada shortly thereafter and moved up to Snowmass.

  Time went by and I played in the snow and partied like a normal young man. A while later, I moved to San Fransisco and needed some money for a rental deposit. My father said no, and so I called him and asked. He said yes. After it all, I think he understood where I was coming from, and our relationship stabilized to something more genuine.

  Years later, I was back in Phoenix teaching drawing perspective at a night school. One of the other teachers there had been a coworker with me at Ramada. She told me that he had been killed in New Orleans, I think. I asked how. She said that someone had murdered him in his hotel room. I could only speculate what had happened.

  All these years later, I realized that I had been sexually assaulted. Had it happened today, I suppose that I could have brought charges and all that it entails. Back then, I’m not sure it had a name. All I know is that it changed me. It helped me understand my orientation, but to also feel empathy for others with theirs. It was like a dream.